Well, one way or another, this will be my last weekly pregnancy update. Not that I was ever that great about updating weekly, but the point being, whether I'm induced tomorrow or next Wednesday, I won't be making it to 38 weeks.
It is such a surreal feeling, being 37 weeks pregnant. Knowing that within a few days, I'll have two babies to take care of, to raise, to eventually set loose on the world. There were so many months where I really thought this day might never come. To think that almost two years ago to the day, we embarked upon this journey, so blithely optimistic that we would have a baby in a few months. And we're finally reaching the end of one journey and beginning another that I can't even begin to imagine.
I've learned so much about myself over the past two years. I've learned a new level of patience. I've learned the importance of optimism, perseverance, and being my own advocate. I've learned how strong and amazing my body is--even with a defunct reproductive system! I never, ever thought that I would be able to carry two babies to term and beyond. That I would still be able to make a grocery shopping trip at this point in my pregnancy. And I know that this next chapter of my life will teach me so much more about who I am and what I'm capable of.
I've grown closer to my husband. A man who has always supported me when I felt I couldn't go on. When I had moments of despair and hopelessness. A man who shared this dream with me and was willing to go to any length to make it happen. A man who talks to his babies, kisses my stomach and has loved our girls since we first saw them as microscopic six-cell embryos.
Our last appointment went well, and the ultrasound tech seemed optimistic that the girls were in a good position for delivery. But the way they move around constantly, there's no telling how they'll be positioned tomorrow. I'm cycling through so many different emotions right now--excitement to finally meet my babies, fear about the labor and delivery process, anxiety that we'll be sent back home to wait a few more days before inducing, anxiety that we WON'T be sent back home until we have two babies that we're wholly responsible for.
I'm spending today trying to fit in all the last minute items on my list--vitally important things like painting the video monitor wires grey so that they blend in with the walls, and trying to decide on a cloth diapering organization system. Anything to keep me busy and my mind off of all of the uncertainty that tomorrow holds.